Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Confession Tuesday: I make things up

When I was little, I made up a lot of stories.  Sometimes they were just better than real life.  Well, apparently I thought they were so good that I ignored how things really were.  Here are two examples that particularly stick out.

Exhibit 1:

The setting:  New York City, Statue of Liberty, 1994(ish)
The characters: My ma and pa, my brother, me, hundreds of strangers. 

My family and I went on a vacation to the Big Apple.  Why? Who knows.  We are small town folk.  My dad refused to let us get on the subway at 8pm because my brother was hysterically insisting that we were going to get mugged.  Anyways.  At some point, we went to the Statue of Liberty and climbed every step up to the top of the crown on a very narrow spiral staircase.  This is what it looks like (I'm so unsure of the validity of my story that I had to look up this picture to make sure I didn't make that up either.)
image: Richard Drew/AP Photo
So safe to assume, you can't go down the up stairs.  It's barely wide enough for one person to pass.  So what is any normal 8 year old supposed to assume the protocol is to get down?  

image: Forbes.com
No seriously.  For several years, (ok, fine, until sometime in college when I realized the slide was probably ridiculous) I thought I rode a slide down from the crown of the Statue of Liberty.  I don't know if I was just hoping that's what would happen once I got to the top or if I imagined that the trip down would be so much better if it were a slide.  But somehow I honestly convinced myself this was real.  And boy do I wish it was.  I might not have such a strong distaste for visiting NYC if I knew I could ride a 22 story slide when I got there. 

Exhibit 2

The setting: My parents house, the living room, 1991 or 1992
The characters: Me, my mom's handwriting, my sheltered life.

At the age of 5, I had not seen the movie Dirty Dancing yet.  I'd never even heard of it.  But, there was a mixed tape in the stereo at home with a variety of 80s gems including the Dirty Dancing theme, "(I've Had) The Time of My Life".  The tape had my mom's handwriting on it (which coincidentally is the same handwriting as the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the Tooth Fairy).  So between not knowing the movie, never hearing the song, and seeing my mom's handwriting, I put 2 and 2 together and logically concluded the duet was sung by none other than my next door neighbors, Bruce and Pam.  I mean, my life consisted of David the Gnome episodes, kindergarten, and about 20 people in New Boston, NH.  I wasn't exactly cultured.  Of COURSE the song was sung by Bruce and Pam!  Yeah, well that turned out to be pretty embarrassing when I found out I'd totally made that up when first seeing the movie in middle school.

Bruce and Pam.  I mean Johnny and Baby. 

But see what I mean?  Those would have been two really cool things if the were real.


Anonymous said...

This happens to me regularly, too! I recall something from my childhood, relay the story as I remember it to Ryan, then at the next family gathering he brings it up for chuckles and the rest of my family stares at me as though I'm crazy.

"That's NOT what happened." They tell me. I wish my concoctions could be the truth, though, they're so much more interesting.


Anonymous said...

if you haven't already heard it, there's a This American Life episode called "Kid Logic." I'm pretty sure it'd crack you up. xo

A New Creation said...

I was probably about 5 and I was with my aunt and uncle on a lake in their ski boat and I swear I saw a fish surface that was as big as the boat. No one else saw it and it happened so quickly that I wasn't sure I really saw it, but I remember it to this day and your wonderful post brought it back to my mind! Thanks for sharing.